Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
