I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize