belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
