Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I don't think brook has ever known best
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
