I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
