I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
