so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
