I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
