I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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