3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
