Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Randomize
