I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize