when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
