Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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