i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
