My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
