I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
