you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
