man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I still have a little drunk in my system
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
