i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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