I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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