I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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