I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
