Soap is not a condiment
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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