I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Randomize
