I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
