i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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