its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
