do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
