Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
