i wish my penis had a tongue
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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