The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
