I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Randomize
