therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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