Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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