she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
