He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
