Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
