32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
