we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Still dying that you shit outside
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
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