wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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