How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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