he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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