Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
