how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
