it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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