hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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