the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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