Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
