the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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