I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
