I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
