in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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