She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
