The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
