Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
There are leaves in my underwear?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
