11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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