Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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