At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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