I heard we made out
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
