He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Do vagina's smell?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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