I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
