oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
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