what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
