I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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